Diary of a Chubby Piggie: War with Kitty

Interested in animals other than cats and dogs? Lincoln Animal Ambassadors is proud to feature Diary of a Chubby Piggie. These imaginative diary entries of a guinea pig were written by Nikki Harbeston, back when she owned guinea pigs. Follow the exploits of Rocco throughout this week, at the end of which you’ll hear Nikki’s story about her special bond with Rocco. Nikki will also return once a month with a how-to column about the care of guinea pigs.

July 21, 2013, Chubby’s War

War, war, the war is on!  It’s the Summer of 2013, but feels like 1944!  I’m fighting a war against a kitty, a kitty that’s sold on eating me for his lunch.  This cat moved in next door and decided that I’m his next meal.

Recruits are on standby for this war that’s about to erupt.  The wheeeek heard around the world is coming; there’s a disturbance in the force!  We’ve gathered intelligence that kitty has an ammo stock pile full of cabbages, tomatoes, timothy hay, etc.

At 08:15 pm, last evening, kitty launched a surprise barrage of cabbages at the patio window! I responded to the barrage by flinging massive amounts of poo.  Kitty thinks that I’ll be in his tummy, but kitty will learn that’s not the case.  Mom and Dad have noticed this kitty and have attempted to shoo it away, but nothing seems to work.  Kitty has an army of other kitties, but I’ve got something better, a glass patio door.  That dumb kitty doesn’t notice when the glass door is closed.  Kitty can’t get to me, but he tries, by crashing face first into the door.  However, when the door is open, it’s war.  The war cry of the kitty consists of coughing up a fur ball; we are on alert for that cry 24/7.  There’s something about to happen, it’s going to be scary!

July 25, 2013, 09:30 am Chubby’s War Part II

Red cabbages in the air, poo bombs bursting in the air, and hairballs sticking to patio chairs.  The kitty has a massive assault team outside the patio between the plant and chairs.  This morning the patio window was opened and kitty’s war cry was loud.  Mom has taken kitty back to where he lives, but he keeps coming back.

The past few days were quiet.  I’d actually let my guard down. That was a bad decision!  Right after breakfast this morning, kitty launched his assault. In response to this assault my team rappelled down ropes and buzz clipped some of kitty’s fur; kitty looks funny, hehehe!

Day after day, my team and I read over maps drawn out on lettuce leafs and cardboard.  My pigloo has gone from a nice place to relax to a war center aimed against kitty’s attacks.  For now, I need to retreat to mom’s lap. Fighting a war takes its toll…… zzzzz….. zzzz

July 30, 2013, 4:48 pm Chubby’s War Part III

The war came to a shocking ending today!  The patio door wasn’t open this morning and kitty was sending a war cry of a different nature.  It didn’t sound like his normal cry. I was intrigued as to what it was about.  Kitty’s cry was sad and heartbreaking, the cry of the wounded.  I’d heard that cry once when my mom had her tonsils removed.  Mom and dad opened the patio door to see kitty just laying there.  Mom especially is a sucker for animals. We go on a walk and any poor kitty is automatically scooped up and being patted like pizza dough. So naturally Mom picked up this kitty.

It turns out that all that fighting was kitty trying to get attention for help.  I feel so bad about launching cabbages and flinging poo at him.  I’m still confused about why kitty just went to war instead of telling us he was hurt, but he was in so much pain that he couldn’t talk.  Mom took kitty to the vet to get his broken leg looked at; it’s broken in two places.  As a piggie, I don’t think my leg is big enough to break in two places, there’s not even any meat really on it!  While kitty was in his new cat bed, I talked with kitty and he told me that he has nothing against guinea pigs, he loves them!  He actually had a guinea pig buddy when he was younger. Anyway, the short of it is, kitty’s former owners are in trouble for animal neglect/abuse. Mom and dad adopted Kitty.

Reprinted with permission from Nikki Harbeston, Creative Stuff. She resides in South Carolina with her husband and dog. Her blog features Diary of a Chubby Piggie and Into the Journey of Dog. Copyright July 2013

If you are a pet owner with writing skills, Lincoln Animal Ambassadors would love to hear from you! We’re especially looking for content about birds, exotic animals, and horses. Content may take the form of an advice column or how-to articles. You may even simply wish to act as an expert consultant. If you are interested, please post in the comments and we’ll be in touch.


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